54. RESPONSE AND REACTION

Territories was good and bad for me. Good because it gave me the opportunity to tell my story so far (and to refine it for myself in doing so), but bad because of the feeling I had afterward (although that too is probably good that it's now and not later). I was basically told that the project wasn't 'Goldsmiths' enough, or that's how I received it anyway. And I don't know what to do with that.

I didn't particularly choose this institution for its perhaps atypical priorities of learning or because of its supposed difference. My application process and interview didn't ask me about such compatibility either. I suppose I felt at the time somewhat confused about what was being asked of me. We were clearly told at the beginning to do what enthuses us ourselves, not to serve the needs or desires of the tutors or institution. But of course I simultaneously realise that this is a weighty project that holds high significance in my attainment for the degree, one that will be marked just as any other piece of work I've ever done in educational context. So to be put on the spot and asked by the anonymous member of staff in the audience "Why are you at Goldsmiths if all you want to do is make a magazine?" (or words to that effect), it seemed unfair. After all, it is my interest while yes I am a student at Goldsmiths. Slightly frustrated, particularly given that the initial response from Laura two weeks ago was positive. All I thought I'd done was to produce work following what was agreed in that previous discussion, and now suddenly I've been made to feel as though I don't belong here (also a personal blow having specifically migrated here from medical school where I'm sure I didn't belong.)

However. Whoever that tutor was, I refuse to believe he's stupid – he must have justification in his response, and to add to that, the other tutors seemed not to disagree. I've had a few days, almost a week, to reflect and I think I understand what was being advised. It's not enough for a final year project at Goldsmiths to simply create another magazine title to sit comfortably in the newsstand. I believe I can deliver that, and make a damn good job of it too, but maybe it's too superficial, not rich enough in original concept? That's not something I'd disagree with, I should absolutely be making innovative steps in the industry and aim to be its spearhead, the pioneer or revolutionary. How, I don't know just yet, but I think that now becomes an acceptable, good project ambition.

So I feel better. But that's not to say I still have further opinion on Goldsmiths' approach. I understand that its priority – dissimilar to other leading institutions – is that work is conceptually strong, stemming from solid foundations of theoretical understanding and societal impact. And I agree with that importance. But I get the feeling that the disciplinary learning, the skill sets and degree of execution are too lowly prioritised, mocked at times. This doesn't make sense to me. Designing something nice and pretty for the sake of designing something nice and pretty has little worth, that I agree with and accept, but the ideologically sound projects that we are encouraged to generate should still be finished to as high a standard as the professional industry (and other leading institutions) do. The priority should be both, no? One or two weeks of Technical Studies per year seems ridiculous. Of course my argument is becoming broader and less focussed now, but it forms part of my response to my project not being sufficiently 'Goldsmiths', whatever that means. Making another publication that is beautifully laid out and aesthetically pleasing is not good enough, for sure (but it's not to say that the outcome shouldn't be a beautiful artefact – it really should). To fulfil my expectations as a student here, and to genuinely produce more exciting work though, I understand there must be something new that I create. That's my challenge. I must still satisfy my own needs and my own interests, but I must also show as much as possible proof of my understanding and learning from my time here at Goldsmiths. There's a challenge I accept, does that sound reasonable to you?

50. INJOY JOURNAL

Having decided to adopt the idea of producing a publication tailored for people who love what they do, I wanted to quickly visualise something tangible and achievable. The title of ENJOY developed into INJOY to emphasise the rich state of happiness that passion can provide, being in a world of joy. It's a working title but I quite like it at the minute, ticking all requirements for the vision of my potential product, with an easily adoptable aesthetic, directly encapsulates the rationale and the optimum degree of wordplay. It's usually not very good to be so positive of my own work, I am aware, so let's not get too carried away.

I want INJOY Journal to showcase the joy and reward for people from engaging with their interests, to explore the methodology and reasons behind the interests and to present the existence of one common emotion shared and experienced in all walks of life and all forms of activity. The aim is to advertise the benefits of more positive, proactive, attentive attitudes toward what we seemingly 'love to do', and to portray a perhaps romantic allure for better enjoyment for everyone concerned. From professionals who love their jobs to enthusiasts who live and breathe their hobbies, members of fan clubs and appreciation societies, subject experts and critics, the opportunity for contribution is rather broad. And that should be good for me as a researcher and good for the readership as variety.

Still brewing, but I feel like I'm onto something. For the time being, I reckon I can accumulate some small, individual case studies of research and explore the gathering of information, with Design Research material possibly becoming quite important. Below is an example for a shop owner who runs a local delicatessen.

43. LEGWORK TUTORIAL

A couple of days to refresh my mind after Monday's tutorial, spending full days out on the pitch with my boys (and girl) for Half Term.

I went into the tutorial with an idea fresh in mind from a bath one night (actually). The idea was as simple as: a magazine dedicated to people who love what they do. For me it makes total sense. My area of exploration thus far has involved the consumer's approach of how they (we) enjoy and how that interest is expressed, as well as how much interest is held – the act of enjoying and appreciating. So to create a document of real people showing real love what they do seems very fitting for my research and for my broader interests too. I saw a clear direction of how the publication would come together, imagining its features, content material, presentation and style.

I conveyed this to a good reaction, certainly as a starting point if not to be something more complete for my project. Key points raised by Laura were to question (and obviously answer) who/what/how my investigation should be conducted. And it's a valid thought to ponder, with it surely insufficient to merely do interviews and have a typical journalistic approach. I must remember my role as Designer throughout.

30. CONTEXT ABSTRACT REWRITTEN

This contextual report explores our appreciation towards ‘work’ as consumers, users or alike. Investigations have involved looking at the way in which work is received or accepted, particularly the attitude towards it and the attention given. Key questions revolve around what we appreciate and why; what is it about quality that we appreciate, assuming that we do in fact appreciate it at all? This then leads to the effects of varied approaches to intaking the work, whether levels of appreciation can directly correlate with our emotions and if our enjoyment or fulfilment can be optimised through work (effort) of our own. In turn, what can the designer or maker do further to dictate how the work is perceived in the first place, to trigger better attention by the recipient? Such arguments have been specifically explored through print media in particular, as this industry has shown fascinating movement in recent years, which illustrates a good example of a shift in focus for higher care and appreciation from both parties (publisher and reader). This report itself also an attempt at encouraging you, the reader, to dedicate time with it and to make effort to experience its qualities – not only for my work as the designer to be fully recognised, but also for you to enjoy it better because of it. It concludes with the belief that there are benefits for everyone with an increase, whether small or large, in treatment manner.

Written post-Alex's-talk on what abstracts should look like. My feeling is still that I'm happy with what an abstract should do and how it should be structured, but given that the content is still uncertain, I feel stuck on what to write, not how. My topic still seems very broad. I don't want to fall behind. 

23. MATERIALS WORKSHOP ONE

Materials speed dating. I must say the most significant positive to come out of this morning's session for me was getting to interact with new members of the class. There's certainly interest to be found in discussing a range of unknown materials put in front of us, but I think I found it difficult to relate to my project interests.

The next task involved choosing a material to research. I selected tracing paper as I had a pad of it with me. Below constitutes some background and history behind tracing paper.

17. CONTEXTUAL STUDIES

Not exactly frightened, but it certainly seems a big task that clearly we have to take seriously. I see it as a chance to get deep into my interests through active research and engagement, but also as an opportunity to create something really worthy as a product. I like that we've been encouraged to make this a design artefact itself, and my vision is instantly pointing towards making a beautifully printed object in the form of a well-made publication that has been so attractive to me over recent months and years.

15. CURRENT AFFAIRS WORKSHOP

Looking through newspaper articles to find related topics to our projects, I liked it. From the off, I was able to raise some key questions that may become important starting points. With the subject of appreciation most fresh in my mind, critic reviews were interesting to read and any news on culture was also worthy of attention. The very idea of people paying more attention to the things they consume – be it music, film, books or anything – suggests a better understanding of the subject in question and greater appreciation, leading then to more opinion and reaction, more questions and discussion, more enthusiasm and passion. The final part of this chain is increased enjoyment. And what's not to enjoy about enjoying more? That's the crux of my hypothesis.

Perhaps this craving for people to pay closer attention and show higher appreciation simply comes down to the fact that I personally just want to have interesting conversations about something I am interested in myself. "I like listening to this artist and I want to talk about it with someone who also likes it and has an opinion.""I like football and I have lots to say about that game the other day and want to converse with somebody who also watched it, has things to say about and is happy to listen to my views too." To that extent, we should all be 'critics' really, certainly about subjects we are interested in. The review in the culture section of The Observer on JAY Z's recent concert (page 3/4 of my work above) actually doesn't include anything special to distinguish it from the views of any other fan who may have attended the show; I could have written that in terms of background knowledge, language fluency and insightful opinion. And just to make clear this isn't an attack on critics but a positive argument for more general people to form valid thoughts and reflection.

Straying to a different issue slightly, it does make me wonder who that JAY Z article was intended for. I would struggle to accept that JAY Z fans would have awoken that morning and rushed to the corner shop to purchase the paper and read the review, no matter how hardcore a fan he or she is. And equally, the regular reader of the paper would likely not be such a fan of JAY Z to care strongly about what this writer had to say. In fact if anything, this would likely be the only thing he/she reads about JAY Z and thus could very possibly form an inaccurate and invalid opinion of the artist. That's a worry for me too. And now, sticking with the subject of 'fans', what makes somebody a worthy fan? The news that the BBC are investing in more coverage of the arts (page 2/4) should be cause for excitement for fans, as I know I do my utmost to expose myself to everything I possibly can for whatever/whomever I am a fan of, and increased coverage increases my access to it – great news. But how many people really make sure to tune into every TV and radio appearance, interview and performance for people they are so-called fans of. I'd be pessimistic about the results of that survey.

And yet there is a big big contrast to all this. The back pages – sport.

I wouldn't hesitate to acknowledge that sport fans are indeed fans. They (we) tend to have extremely good knowledge around our sport and it's very common to have well-informed and interesting conversations with sport fans. Every kick of the ball receives full attention in a football game, and subsequently some sort of critique from everyone in the room. If we can't watch a particular game, it's almost a guarantee that we will be watching the highlights later that day, eager to catch every moment and participate in every debate almost religiously – and that's how it should be. We should feel so interested that our emotions get heated and that we are strict with ourselves to take in as much as there is that is accessible. And our lives are better because of it, I really believe that.

Design's overarching aim is to improve our lives, to make things better. If we're not doing everything we can to enjoy ourselves ourselves, then there must be a role for the designer to step in and change that. That's a fucking big task. I hope I've not just outlined my brief... But it was a workshop that has no doubt developed my thinking further so that's good.

12. INITIAL REACTION

We gave our first presentations today on our interests and possible avenues of exploration and direction. Rather than expressing my joy for print and video, I chose instead to talk about joy itself and we tend not to appreciate as much as we could. Allow me to expand.

I wrote in Entry 2 about the idea of a 'Listening Club', whereby we enjoy music for music and give it our full attention to give ourselves a fair opportunity to listen to it and understand it, and to subsequently form a valid opinion of it. I have a hypothesis to say that by doing this, we can reach higher levels of enjoyment and indeed appreciation. Appreciate in order to appreciate, you could say. So anyway, I spoke for 2 minutes questioning the reasons behind our apparent lack of fair treatment towards music (or indeed anything else, really) and the possible incentives behind choosing to do so, choosing to give more time and effort into enjoying it.

The feedback wasn't negative – that's always reassuring. There's definitely a suggestion of this 'appreciation' that I talk about holding a more critical eye towards the subject, which of course raises further questions of whether we're all critics (or whether we all have the right to be) and whether we need to concern ourselves with it. For many, such subjects are a mere form of entertainment or pastime (in its most derogatory sense) that don't necessitate our valuable time, saved only for 'experts'. Perhaps it's something of a niche, like how actual existing appreciation societies tend to be. Relatively small collectives of people who converse about pretty much anything to relatively unique depths and enthusiasm. Reading Clubs may just be the commonest example of all. That's certainly a research area to delve into.

10. APPRECIATION IS KEY

I've just realised. More on this later...

9. A JFC MOVIE

My love for video really started in 2011 when I made the first Movie for the football club at which I work, JFC. There we deliver coaching sessions to kids aged 4-15 (the very place I learnt how to kick a ball) and our activity includes seasonal trips and tours. In Christmas time of 2010, we visited the Emirates Stadium for a stadium tour with some of the boys, but the story is that we lost all the data for the day's photographs which were of course important to us for documenting the event. One of the Coaches though was recording proceedings on a little Handycam and I volunteered to convert the footage into a short video. With brief hits of happy faces and nice music, it somehow did more than what the photographs would have achieved. It's difficult to pinpoint but there's certainly a more significant emotional journey and better picture of the atmosphere, particularly for those who weren't there (ie. the parents and other members who didn't participate – brilliant).

Since then, I've made 10 JFC Movies ranging from 3-minute shorts to 20-minute features. I don't classify my work here as part of my design work per say, but it is probably fair to say that it's a work of design in its own right. The brief is clear, the creative opportunity is vast and the skills are relevant. I think what I love about the medium is that even the most mundane footage can be transformed into a moment of beauty by simple editing, whether it be the adapted context or the musical factor. I find great joy from it and it's all the more satisfying to know that these make a permanent showcase of wonderful memories for everyone involved. I would have loved to be able to keep my childhood experiences alive and accessible on demand.

Below, I've attached three videos that show an interesting variety of the kind of videos and indeed kind of trips that we've done: a stadium sleepover, a summer camping trip to the countryside and a cold season activity camp.You can watch any one you like but I promise you you won't be able to resist smiling throughout. And I love that.







>> Find all the Movies available to watch on JFC's Vimeo page.

8. THAT KID IN SCHOOL

Back in school, I was that kid who spent far too much time making things look neat. I held personal pride and the envy of my peers in my handwriting (although my English teacher wasn't a fan because it wasn't joined-up-writing – oh piss off). I cared deeply about the quality of my homework, making sure not only that it was good and 'correct', but also that it looked perfect (not that it was). I was that kid who drew meticulous diagrams for the science report, did a front cover and contents page for the maths project, and funnily enough the only kid who actually did that one essay task for art class. Yeah, I was him.

In those days, I thought of Design (or D&T) merely as the subject in which you made wooden boxes, I really thought that was it. I had no idea that design was something that stretched to all realms of life and civilisation as we know it – and I really mean everything. These past two years or so have taught me that design is far more significant, whilst admittedly subtle, in the human world and a discipline that plays a key role, a vital role in everything, from chairs and packaging to strategies and communication. And really I want to be engaged with all of what design encompasses, to affect and essentially improve our lives. Who knew that that kid back in school was already so design-conscious.

5. FINAL YEAR

I came into Design from a rather different background, having studied Medicine for a year straight before. That means my schooling was very much focussed on sciences (although I did continue Fine Art until A-Level). My first year at Imperial College was the first time in my life that I had zero creative output in my schedule, and it was a withdrawal I simply didn't expect would make me so unhappy. Now to be fair, I could easily have gone and done creative things to solve it, but I wasn't quite mature enough to just do things for myself. Coming straight from the education system where every day I had to attend this class and had to submit this homework on time, I was probably too comfortable doing as I was told. I didn't think much beyond that. Now, I'm slowly coming to realise that I hold sole responsibility for what I do and what happens in my life, that I must motivate and discipline myself to achieve goals. Without going too far off topic or discussing bigger philosophical questions, what I mean is that I was smart enough to realise what I wanted but not smart enough to go ahead and do it. So I dropped out and turned to Design. And here I am now beginning my third year at Goldsmiths College, perhaps the ideal place for me to grow and mature.

So. The small matter of deciding a final project for me to undertake for the next 10 months or so. I've come a long way from being the kid who needed a guidance figure to tell me what to do, to now as I'm essentially design my own brief. I came into the programme with high interests around anything design – it was a subject area I'd spend my time reading about and engaging with anyway – but actually bringing with me little skill or experience. I was hoping to pick that up in my first couple of years and to find a discipline or field that I would feel passionate for. Now is as good a time as any to reflect on whether or not I've succeeded in doing so. Which neatly brings me to my initial thoughts on the project.